This is the biggest decision ever. I gradually realize that I am just a slave, or of God or of Satan in this spiritual war. I have no choice. The Holy Spirit speaks to me sometimes, but the evil spirit speaks to me more often. Nowthe evil spirit prevails, and I am convinced that even I tried to be as good as I want, but I failed. Then I would try to be as bad as I can. When all the love in me has failed, what left is purely hate. I hate who I loved, I hate who loves me. I am almost won by Satan. I can imagine my ending. But all I am thinking is to revenge, I don’t care the ending.